did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
