I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
