Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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