He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
