Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
