My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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