Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
