Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
