if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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