Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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