This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
