I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
