tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
