i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
