dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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