I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
