It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
