i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
