Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Damn victory sex feels great
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
