Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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