I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
