Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
