Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
