I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
