if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
