I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
