You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
