Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
