He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
