just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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