New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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