Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
