well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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