so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
