tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
