and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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