You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
