How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize