It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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