my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
