I molested 6 butterflies tonight
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The power of my boobs compel you
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
