im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
