Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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