eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
