i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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