guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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