The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
