I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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