I just made out with a guy for $7.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
