it hurts more in the daytime
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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