It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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