I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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