I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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