You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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