I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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