i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize