I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
