i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
