Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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