i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
