its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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