if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize