girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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