It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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