belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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