im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We need a shit load of segways right now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
