Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
