They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
