dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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