Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
