i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
